I’m sitting on the subway, predrinking nervously for my date. Warm white wine in the Nalgene - I’m all class.
I’m predrinking not because I’m nervous for the date part, but because I’m nervous for the who it’s with part. Apparently some switch got dislodged in my brain recently, and I decided that it would be a good idea to start dating a very good old friend. My only defence is that the same switch also seems to have dislodged in his brain, as he was the one who casually asked me out after not so casually making out with me at a party. But seriously - aren’t you supposed to get to know people on a first date? I know everything about him already. And that is NOT an advantage.
Oh - a point I forgot to mention. Whilst nervously commuting to said date (from school), I am also haphazardly trying to complete an assignment with an imminent due date. Whilst predrinking, yes, and concurrently while writing this. And yes, that means I brought wine to school to predrink with. Hence why it’s warm.
So currently my life consists of dual anxiety regarding the date and assignment, combined with confusion about friend-dating protocol. Toss in a mild concern that I might not get drunk enough to combat awkward silences, and a much bigger concern that I might in fact get too drunk and accidentally sleep with my (very good looking) good old friend.
Basically this situation is what I like to call a “sauvignon emergency.” What - so I’ve been known to solo predrink for dates, okay?
Why am I single?
PS: I’m also double fisting a coffee because I’ve been up since 6AM doing this assignment and it’s STILL NOT DONE.
PPS: worried about the protocol again - do you go in for a hello hug or a makeout? Double-kiss? Wave? Handshake? Huh?
- Jane Doe
