December 2010
15 posts
2 tags
happy new years (alternate title: don't be an...
ahh new years. a time of new beginnings, or something like that.
this time last year i was living in kingston. i had to work until close new years eve, but i wasn’t too bothered because i’d had enough of getting glam, stressing about which party would be the best party to commit my midnight to, dealing with the bitch of transporation and navigating mud and slush in strappy...
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(un?)ladylike
I do pretty well being single. I am an extremely independent woman, almost to a fault. I am strong and I work a “man’s” job, and do it just as well (and sometimes better) than they do. I can pick up 250 pound men with ease, but yet look absolutely stellar in a pair of Louboutins.
I grocery shop while looking fabulous, because you never know who you are going to meet out...
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nostalgia
There’s nothing like catching up with a childhood friend over the holidays to warm the heart. Or, as in this case, bring to your attention just how early you unintentionally set out on a path towards permanent spinsterhood.
e.k: Hey Mags, remember that time you made me wear the plastic cape?
Mags: You wore that cape on your own accord. I made you wear the plastic skirt.
e.k: Yeah, but...
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classy christmas cheer
know what’s classy? gifting a co-worker with a homemade port-a-loo* constructed using an empty water bottle, a plastic fedex waybill cover, and packing tape. i should totally patent that shit. it was kind of an inside joke, though based on her reaction i may have been the only one actually ‘in’ on it. my bad. whatever, i would totally date me, because everyone knows that the...
3 tags
'friend' almost wins christmas
t.g. invited Friend and i to a party last weekend.
Friend asked if there was a dresscode. “classy-ish… but wear an ugly christmas sweater if you have one.” said t.g.
“so basically he asked us to do the impossible.” she reported back to me. “basically he’s saying try to look cute in an ‘i’m not trying to look cute, i didn’t even know...
3 tags
welcome to my psyche (it's exhausting in here)
I recently received an anonymous submission for my blog via email. At first I thought that the content should probably be broken into separate posts, until I looked a little closer. The fact is, anonymous completely contradicted herself, and yet I could fully and totally relate to everything she was saying.
We had our first big snowstorm in Montreal last week and I didn’t have a hat, and...
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seeking: boy who appreciates irony
The most valuable piece of advice that I was given when I began Why We’re Single is that blogging anonymously is tricky. The world is small and the internet is smaller, inevitably at some point members of your nearest and dearest will put two and two together and figure out who you are. And I took this advice seriously. Ish.
friend: Ok, so I think the blog is a great idea, but what...
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prize pony
You know what sucks as you get older? The fact that you lose that recklessness which allowed you to jump head first into anything and everything that remotely resembled an advantageous romantic entanglement. Nowadays, I feel like I just focus on the entanglement bit.
“Is this something I’m going to have to disentangle myself from in a couple of days/weeks/months/years?” I...
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that time i tried to quit facebook
Excerpt of an email written to a friend during a particularly intense moment of withdrawal:
Am having trouble adjusting to life sans Facebook.
Pros:
1 - No more wasting time in a creeper trance flipping from profile page to news feed to friends profile page back to news feed to friend of friend’s photo album to my profile page and back to my news feed etc.
2 - Not being able to obsess...
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friends with benefits (?)
“the fundamental flaw” was just screaming for a male response, so here it is: ‘friend’ writes about the 5 pieces of advice for maintaining a perfect “friends with benefits” situation, brilliant. seeing as i’ve worked my way into, and out of, many of these situations here’s 5 (and a half) things you should never do. #1 never assume you’ll...
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bodylanguage
The gym should be a really awesome place to pick up. During my many bouts of singledom, I’ve thought: “Wouldn’t it be fabulous if a hunky, outrageously tall and athletic man approached me in a casual, non-creepy way, engaged in a witty banter about music, books or current events, and didn’t check himself out in the mirror even once?” Instead, the only REAL conversation I’ve ever had at the gym...
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the fundamental flaw
Excessive pickiness when it comes to guys, coupled with a phobia of commitment are a disastrous combination. Welcome to my life. I am notoriously single and many people wonder how I cope. The answer has always been simple: My 5 step plan for friends with benefits!
Step I- Have a good looking friend who is lots of fun, smart, nice and good in bed. They should live in a different city so that...
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wtf?!
you know when you’re on a date with someone that you’ve been out with a few times before casually, and you are at his house watching movies or something and you start fooling around a bit and it’s really nice and then things start progressing quickly and getting a little intense and you are into it but keep thinking ‘i really don’t want to have sex tonight because...
3 tags
“you know you’re starved of sex and nourishment when yogurt with maple...”
– friend
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awkwardness/confrontation/coffee
Spilled coffee on a guy sitting next to me on the subway this morning. He stared at me, blinking his horrified, loonie-sized eyes, unable to fucking believe me. He was so going for an interview, I just know it. And instead of comforting him with my womanly empathy while whipping out my Tide stick (which I don’t own, who are we kidding, since I am single) I literally bolted out of the...